Saturday, January 09, 2010

It's All About the Numbers, Yo.

I have a houseful of 9 year old girls tonight and I feel the need to imbibe in a little fermented grapes until I'm about a .245.

No, Seriously. I do.

I can think of about 10 other things I'd rather do than head up a slumber party for eight screaming little girls. The first thing that comes to mind is spend 2 hours standing 3 feet deep in sewage.

Therefore, I shall pour myself a tall glass of wine, put a movie on for the beasties, and head to the back bedroom to surf the internet and read a book.

Let the screaming begin!

I just hope nobody gets hurt. Would it count as practicing nursing under the influence if I put a bandaid on a scraped knee after a glass or six of vino? What do you think?


Jade said...

Sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do!

I do have one piece of advice. After your 1 - 6 glasses vino and the 10 hours of screaming girlies; don't cut yourself on the broken glass that you've hurled across the bedroom to the wall and have to end up in the ED. There is NO explaining to those ER Nurses that it was only a couple glasses of wine! : )

Candice said...

Lot's of pizza and alcohol should do you right.

Julie said...

Jade - no kidding! Especially when you work with the biznitches. They'll totally be posting pictures of my drunk ass up on the bulletin board.

Candice - didn't get the pizza, but I did enjoy some vino! It helped tremendously once the tears of hurt feelings started to flow. I just threw 'em a Kleenex and said "Suck it up! Life is pain!"

The T-Dude said...

I love my daughters, but when they get around their friends for a sleep over, I can feel the average IQ in the room diving to sub-Forrest Gump levels. Wine doesn't do it any more. Gin or Scotch or maybe Tequila are the only things that can dull the pain.

StorytellERdoc said...

LOL..too funny a post. Why stop at the party? With all the screaming at work, sneak a flask in there too! LOL We are having my daughter's bday party next week--she's turning 9 and 12 friends are thanks for the head's up.

Julie said...

T-Dude and ER doc: I'm thinking next year I'll just start by answering the door holding a bottle of crown royal. Maybe the parents will turn around and take their kids with them back home! Good luck at your party next week Doc!