Saturday, January 27, 2007

Listen Here, Sally Joe....

Teamwork is a great thing. It's a wonderful thing. And it can be spoiled by one individual who thinks he (or she - who's limiting to one gender?) is the all knowing supreme nurse in the sky. It's even more amazing when they are fresh out of nursing school.

Now, I don't believe in eating our young in nursing. I believe in training them up right - so they can take good care of us when we come to the ER having overdosed on painkillers and lithium. We need them properly prepared and ready for that life changing event. There's just one thing I hate about newbies. One thing that will drive me insane and push me to the verge of swallowing that handful of pills.

Know-It-All-Newbies. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Everyone run and hide!

We had a trauma roll in the back door. One vehicle rollover with ejection of passenger. Multiple injuries, unstable vital signs, AirLIfe on their way. I'm the primary RN and working with Dr. Q to keep things running smoothly. And they are - running smoothly, that is. Then in walks Know-It-All-Newbie who proceeds to say to me "Listen here Sally Joe," (excuse me?) "I know you need some assistance in here, so I've come in to help." He graced me with a smug smile and his fists on his hips. Nose in the air like Mighty Mouse. Can you just picture my eyes rolling?

"OK Know-It-All-Newbie, you wanna help? Go on over and clean up all the crap on the floor around the stretcher. My trauma bay is messy."

"I'm a nurse!" he replies, shocked. "I am here to help take care of this patient."

"Yeah? Well you can help take care of the patient by picking up the bloody crap around the stretcher."

"That's not why I came in here."

"Well goodie for you. Now either get over there and pick up the garbage, or get the hell out. 2 choices. Easy peasy lemon squeezy."

His face turned red and his fists tightened on his hips. "I have had recent trauma training and I know what to do! I just took TNCC and I know how to treat this patient!"

"Oh! Oh! You've had recent trauma training! Well, pardon me. I didn't know. I definitely could use you then," I reply. He smiles...........until I say "I could use you to pick up the crap around the stretcher."

Dr. Q told me I need a vacation. I just asked him for a prescription of valium. He laughed and told me no. Stingy little doctor.