Thursday, March 05, 2009

Simple Thoughts From A Simple Mind

If you are a veterinarian, do not tell me you are a medical doctor when your son is a patient in my ER.



I'm not stupid and I WILL figure it out. Rather quickly too.

(Nothing against veterinarians here. Don't get your panties in a twist.)


If you have admittedly stolen funds from your place of employment and then you are magically promoted............. you gotta be blowin' somebody.

Just sayin'.

The Boys in Blue

I found a new blog when I was surfing around tonight. Actually, I found a few new ones. I'm having a lot of fun reading the police blogs and looking at things from their point of view (which is often shared by little ol' me).

One of the blog posts caught my eye. The officer at Cop 'n Attitude wrote about Ticketing Doctors and Nurses. I must say that I am thoroughly embarrassed to be associated with the people in this story. They were complete and total assholes.

That being said, I must admit my downfall. I am a speeder. Oh how I love to push that gas pedal down to the floor. 50 in a35? Not a problem for me. It is a problem for the local boys in blue though. I constantly get appropriate lectures from them when they are in the ER (and they are the BEST smart asses in the world, better than me which is a near impossible feat). I've been pulled over by a few of them, getting put through the verbal wringer, and they are right - every time. I'm trying to do better, I truly am. It's a hard habit to break though.

But I must say with 100% conviction, I have NEVER used my position to get out of a ticket. Never. My father is an officer (the Chief in fact), my ex was an officer, one of my best friends is an officer. I know the shit they have to deal with. I know how people can be complete and total jerks. I also know that being nice and respectable goes a long way.

Honestly though, many of us medical professionals do get a "PASS" from Law Enforcement. Living in a small town we get it more often. Do we deserve it? Not really......... but we're all a team. Is that an excuse? No. It just is what it is. We all see each other quite often carrying out the duties of our jobs and that develops into a relationship that is truly unique.

We see them bringing in an out of control schizophrenic who has been threatening people on the street. We see them helping us restrain someone who is trying to harm themselves or others. We see them with broken hands, broken ankles, or God-forbid - Gunshot wounds. They see us dripping with sweat trying to resuscitate the 10 year old who was ejected from the car during the rollover. They see us telling wives that their husbands didn't survive the wreck even though we did everything we could. They see us helping out their buddies when they've been injured.

We all see that we share the same sense of humor to deal with the horrors and stress of our jobs.
And they take the doughnut jokes really well, too.

Seriously, Dude......Don't

For all of you out there who want to know when you should go to the ER, let me help you out.

You should go to the ER when................

You are dying.

Or close to it.

DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT come to the ER for the following (or the nurse and the physician will not only think you are an idiot, but also bitch about how it is single handedly your fault that the medical system is in the shambles it is in):

  1. Runny nose that just started this morning.
  2. Fever that just started this morning.
  3. Cough that just started this morning.
  4. In fact, any cold symptoms at all - just wait it out. Seriously. We're not going to help you.
  5. The flu - stay away. You're going to contaminate everyone else and there is nothing we can do for you.
  6. A tiny little scratch on your finger
  7. A tiny little cut on your finger (ever heard of applying pressure? And by pressure I mean actually pressing down on the area for more than 10 seconds)
  8. Back pain you've been having for a few weeks. GO TO YOUR CLINIC DOCTOR.
  9. A cough you've had for a few weeks.
  10. Anything that has lasted for a few weeks - GO TO YOUR CLINIC DOCTOR. It is obviously NOT an emergency since you've lived through it for the last 21 days.
  11. Your 2 year old that is pulling on his ear on a Wednesday night. Wait until the morning and go to your clinic doctor. Tylenol - it's a good thing.
  12. Your 2 year old with a rash which he's had for a few days. Or even a rash he's had for a few hours. It......can.....wait.
  13. Ankle pain after falling off a porch and twisting the darn thing. If you can walk in, you don't need to be seen.
I know there are plenty more, that's just a few from my last day at work. I constantly shake my head in wonder at the very idea that people think they need to come to the ER for these things.

And before all you people start jumping on me about the .0000005% rare instances of some wild and crazy disease or near fatal instance of your child/niece/nephew/brother/sister/husband/mother/
father/dog/cat/parokeet in the above scenarios - just know this............ we're not gonna catch those either. And if we do, it's plainly a miracle from God.