Saturday, December 31, 2005

Welcome to the ER!

Please - come on in. Be sure to check in at the desk first and tell the unsympathetic receptionist that you are here for chest pain. Then walk over to the triage desk where the nurse will badger you with questions about your health history (including the last time you had sex and if you took a little blue pill) before they even take your temperature. Then proceed to have the following conversation with her:

You - "I'm here with the chest pains"
Her - "the chest pains? Are they a new group?"
You - "No - I'm the chest pain"
Her - "Does your wife tell you this?"
YOu - "NO! I have chest pain"
Her - "Oh! Let me take you right back"

Yes, Yes - the life of an ER nurse. I'm here to tell it all to you. The complaints we get, the scared nurses that come cover shifts, the people that make up any symptom just to get a prescription for percocet, the trauma's that come in - it's all here. You want to know? I'll tell.

So relax, kick up your feet (but don't fall over backwards on your chair because we will make fun of you when you come in to the ER), and enjoy the read.

obligatory disclaimer: HIPPA and all confidentiality laws will be followed. I will not post any information which may identify a patient in any way.