SP vs. BSI

I got into an argument today with a medic on an internet board (I know, I know ........ you don't have to say it) regarding the terms SP vs. BSI. She was insistent, and I mean name calling, snarling, spitting, vulgarity insistent that we MUST! MUST! MUST! use the term BSI for Body Substance Isolation and that the term SP (standard precautions) went out with the dinosaurs and RN's are incompetent killers if they continue to use the term SP.

So minus all the emotional rhetoric, what say you guys? I had never been exposed to the term BSI (at least in any way that stuck into my brain as being a requirement for use). We've used SP forevah! Go SP!

I looked up the CDC guidelines (from 2007 admittedly, but the BSI were from 1987 so which is more current?) and they can be found here: CDC Guidelines

1987 - BSI outdated

1996 - standard precautions into favor.

WTF am I missing here? Is this just a medic vs. RN thing? Is it an unstable mental person (her or me? Who knows!) argument on the interwebz?

The term truly doesn't matter, I know it's the idea of providing barrier protection between potential infectious agents for pt/care provider.

But damnit, I wanna know what you all think! So lay it on me.

People Do Amazing Things, Yo

SEE?

You cannot make this shit up............... Man shoots nail into his brain.

Arrows, Elk, and Dinner Plates.

He came in with an arrow sticking out of his forearm.

Yes.

An arrow. You know - those long feathered things with a sharp point on them - used to kill poor, innocent, fluffy, furry animals? Deer, Bear, Elk.... um, Elk. Deer. Elk. Bear. Elk. God - I'm drooling. Totally.

Can I interrupt this post to say that nothing, I mean NOTHING, beats a good elk steak dinner with mashed potatoes and gravy, bacon green beans, and homemade rolls? The smell in the house when this meal is cooking is divine. Divine. It's like comfort, satisfaction, home, and good sex all rolled into one.

Alas, I digress. Apparently my patient's girlfriend felt that throwing the pointy object at him was a good end to the argument. He put his hand up to block it and........ well, you know the rest.

Why on earth do some people throw things when they are mad? I mean really. What is it that feels soooooooo damn good about hurling something across the room? There is something almost orgasmic about picking up a dinner plate and hurling it with all your might against the wall, where it shatters in a million pieces. SIGH......

Not that I would know or anything.

Really.

OK - maybe once.

Or twice.

But that's all!

Really.

It's true.

**I in NO WAY support physical violence upon any persons, imagined or otherwise. Dinner plates and walls are free targets though.

I Am The Patient....... (and not a very good one either)

I have found out that I am the type of patient I want to punch in the face. Seriously. I have issues.

I broke my ankle after Christmas. I knew it as soon as I stepped my foot wrong on the step and rolled my ankle 180 degrees. I mean I *instantly* knew it was fractured. I heard a pop, felt a crunch, and lost my balance. Then I proceeded to fall down the next 3 steps........ in front of my 13 year old child.

It was awesome.

I COULD NOT BELIEVE how much it hurt. Holy balls batman. I needed to puke, hyperventilate, and scream "Mother Fucking Fucker of all that is Fucked! What the Fucking Fuck? AHHHHHH!" all at the same time. My poor child was standing there with her hand over her mouth unsure on if she should laugh, cry, or tell me to shut up because I was embarrassing her (my bet is the latter). My mother came running down the stairs after me, screaming "I'm calling 911! I'm calling 911!"

Now let's talk about my mother - she's a bit.......um.......how do you say it......... Hystri-fucking-ONIC! I had to catch my breath and tell her if she called 911 I'd have to cut a bitch. There is no way in hell I'm letting my EMS coworkers come pick me up. They'd probably get me naked and stick a rectal tube in.... or somethin'. Just sayin'.

My mother backs the car up into the driveway (almost taking out my head in the process - thank God my 13 year old has the reflexes of a cat and knows how to scream "STOP!" in 0.25 seconds), and I manage to pull myself up into the passenger seat. I do believe the neighbors got quite an eyeful of my ass in the air while I was crawling into the seat too. I've always wanted to be in the annual neighborhood block party slide show - I figure they can use the pictures of my ass for that.

Away we go to the hospital.................

My first thought as Mark came out the door was....... "Oh shit." He's the best nurse we have, but he's also Ron White on crack. I was going to be spending the next 2 hours with a jacked up jokester who would hit on my mother even if she was 85 years old and using a walker. Mark helped me out of the car into a wheelchair and rolled me back to the exam room.

I was sobbing like a 3 year old who got her Barbie stolen from her. Seriously. I could not control myself. It was like something possessed me and would not let me stop crying.

What the fuck?

I don't cry. I just don't. I mean, unless I am pissed off and thinking of killing you or frustrated because you are being an asshole and I can't punch you in the face. Otherwise I don't cry.

Except for this time apparently.

I think Mark was wondering who the hell I was. He looked at me like I was an alien with 3 heads. He was not used to seeing me act like I even remotely had a heart. I think I shocked him into silence.

Until I cried out between snot rags............"OH God - I haven't shaved my legs!"

Mark laughed and then shoved a BIG ASS needle into my vein - followed by some morphine that I'm SURE he was using to shut me up. I mean really.......12 mg of morphine for a little fracture? It couldn't have had anything to do with the fact that I kept asking for "just a couple more milligrams Mark." I was just trying to maintain a 0 pain level, right? I KNOW you all know what I'm talking about (especially you haters who bitch me out every time I post about drug seekers).

Anyway, Mark was awesome as always, even though I whined like a baby the entire time I was there. They got me splinted, gave me some percocet and sent me on my merry way. I go in for casting on Monday. Hopefully then I can bear a little weight on my leg. Living on crutches and being non weight bearing this past week has sucked balls. It's hard to get around with metal extensions attached to you.

So I lift my crutches to all you people out there! Happy New Year! May you enjoy and injury free 2012.

Yeah, Whatever

Seriously, it's hard to keep up with this blogging thing. I'm ready to throw in the towel. I keep making promises and never following through. Kinda like and addict...............maybe I should find a new habit!

So I will make no promises nor will I say I will even try to keep up. But if something strikes my fancy, you may find it on here, or my coworkers may just hear about it at work.

We shall see......

We shall see.......

Rural ER

It's a totally different world out here in the the boondocks. Lab and Xray have to drive in from home, the doc is probably at the playoff basketball game, and you just had someone pull up to the ER with an unconscious cowboy in the back of their pickup who got thrown off his horse.

Oh - and the next closest hospital is 2 hours away. In fact, the next town is 2 hours away. Across the barren land of desolation.

Now it's just you and Lucy for the next 20 minutes. JUST you and Lucy. 2 nurses alone in the world (can you hear the violins playing?). No admitting clerk to register them, no scribe to write what happens. EMS is out on a call 40 minutes from town. Your CNA is elbow deep in diarrhea and falling old people.

What do you do?

a. quit

b. pop some vicodin and go to sleep

c. throw out a few good fuck, shits, and damn its

d. grab Lucy, slap her across the face, and tell her "This is it! It's now or never!"

e. wonder why you ever applied to work at this damn facility anyway

f. curl up in the fetal position and cry like a baby

g. get to work

Ummm....... do I have to answer?

Interesting Things From School

Code Today.

Student Nurse.

CPR.

Good times, good times.

I'll just let your mind take you there........

Ice Fishing and Viagra

I signed in today to find 28 comments telling me "you must surely seen the I have diatribe find kitty cats and TV's selling VIAGRA today" or some such nonsense. "Find today your unseen prediction for left foot in hind end and blanket on head Cialis!" If you want me to print your ad, at least have the decency to use appropriate grammar.

It kinda cracks me up to see Arabic or Chinese lettering followed by Viagra or Cialis in bold blue. Apparently men all over the world like to get it up. I'd just like to see some of their TV commercials. They've got to be more entertaining than Bob Dole. Maybe I should go hit YouTube today for some entertainment.

Anyway, sorry about the short leave of abscence from the monkey-on-my-back, I mean blog. Lots going on in my life like blah, blah, blah, blah, and blah. OH! And blah! Can you believe that shit? I know! I was shocked too. Took a while to get over it.

Today I am going ice fishing with a bunch of people from work. Snow, frozen lake, fire, beer, good friends - is there anything better? Well yes, SEX. But apparently the whole world needs Viagra now so it'll be coming to an end pretty soon.