One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest

I was sitting at the desk in ER the other day (why do a lot of my stories begin like this? Does this say something about where I spend most of my time?), when I heard a chirp.

"What the hell?" I said.

Chirp, chirp. Chirp, chirp.

I suddenly remembered my previous conversation with the EMS guys and figured they were playing a little game with me.

"I know it's those assholes with a bird call. I'm not even turning around," I said to myself. "I'll just sit here and continue charting and then walk away."

So I did.

The chirping got louder. Angrier. More frantic.

I giggled.

"They're not going to get me. Not this time."

I have a long standing relationship with my EMS crew. We love jokes. The more embarrassing, the better. The more we can make the other look like an ass, the better. I love those guys! We have so much fun.

So hence, I ignored them.

Chirp! Chirp Chirp! CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP!!!!!

Snicker.

I started whistling back.

Whistle Whistle.

Chirp Chirp.

"Suckers," I thought.

Suddenly my pharmacist came around the edge of the desk. "Hey Julie, did you know there's a bird in your ER?" she said.

"No, that's just the EMS guys trying to be stupid. They have some bird call or something they're playing with."

"No it's a bird," she replied.

"No it's not. Really. They're getting me back from the other day."

"No Julie. It's a bird. It's right there............"

I looked up to see her pointing down the hallway. I stood up, leaned over the desk, and saw the damn bird - sitting right in the middle of the hallway.

Chirp Chirp! Chirp Chirp! He cocked his head as he talked to me.

Sigh................... Yes, apparently I am that stupid.

4 nurses, 6 slammed doors, and 18 cuss words later we had the bird in our hands and escorted him back outside for his return home.

15 minutes later the EMS crew was standing in the double doors pointing and laughing at me.

All in a day's work.