We Make Funnies

I spent half of today reviewing the ER log from 2007 for retrospective trauma entries. Basically I was looking for cases that should have been entered into the trauma system that for some reason were not. Usually related to under triage by the nurse and/or physician. I actually really enjoy reviewing these cases because it is absolutely hysterical what you find. Between admitting clerks who have no medical terminology background and physicians who apparently were on the tail end of a 48 hour stretch when they dictated - it makes for a fun filled 6 hours of reading.

When the admitting clerks register a patient, they must fill in a chief complaint on the admitting form. This usually is what the patient specifically says they are there for, such as abdominal pain, can't breath, chest pain, etc. Apparently, we need to do a little more training with some of our clerks, or be a little more aware of typos.

For example (exact spellings included):

• Hell and hit head (I'd hit my head if I was in hell too - over and over and over and......)
  
• here for a cathader (is that related to Darth Vader?)
  
• cut all his finers (ummm..................where are your finers?)
  
• turned both ankles (turned them where? Left? Right? Into the police?)
  
• bitten twice by unknown (wouldn't you have recognized it after the first time it bit you? Or at least ran from it when it went at you a second time?)
  
• history of vowel obstruction (good thing they weren't consonated too)
• slash of gasoline (vs a dash or a pinch? Or maybe a guitar player from a rock band?)
  
• left thigh from a dirt bike (what - did he grow a left thigh from the dirt bike? Borrow it from the dirt bike? Left his thigh on the dirt bike?)
• kedney pain (apparently a new type of pain related to shoes?)
  
• pains from having appendicitis out (this is just funny)
  
• Fell likes passing gas (Sweet shit on a stick. Did he fall because he likes passing gas? Did we just need to know he likes flatulence? Does he feel like passing gas? Because apparently it's now OK to come to the ER whenever you feel the need to fart)
  
• painful hemoridds (maybe they wouldn't be painful if he'd have just passed the gas)
  
• toothpain and a bad smell (well maybe a shower would help)
• ripatory dress (as compared to a non ripe............ shirt?)
• sinkable episode (was this a near drowning?)
  
• sour throat (If they watched what they put in their mouth, they wouldn't have such a bad taste in there)
• dieraha (ummm...............hmmmmm......yeah)
• crappy cogn (it took me a long time to figure out this was a croupy cough and not something to do with poop)

It's days like today that make me love my job.