Friday, February 22, 2008

My naughty habits

I love dirty jokes. The raunchier the better. Sexist, chauvinistic, pigheaded, dirty jokes make me laugh until I cry, and the ER is a terrific place to hear them. I get 'em from coworkers, doctors, and even the patients. I must have a sign on my head that says "naughty girl" or something. People feel free to have verbal diarrhea around me and I adore it.

I ain't right in the head.

I was introduced to the whole naughty joke genre by my grandmother when I was around 11 or 12. She told me a joke involving a mouse, a pussy, and a tattoo. I was hooked. I made her tell me all the ones she knew. I have a cool grandma like that. Aren't you jealous? Now she starts happy hour at noon and has an even larger repertoire. I love her.

If you are a patient in my ER, please bring a dirty joke along.


Tex said...

Here's one, and I don't even need morphine.

Did you know Hillary Clinton was a test tube baby?
Yup, even back then she wasn't worth a fuck.

The T-Dude said...

It's not very dirty, but I like this one:

A man is walking down the street in the middle of the afternoon when he looks up and she's a woman walking toward him with her breast hanging out of her blouse.

As she gets closer he wonders what is he going to do? He thinks to himself:

"If I say something, we'll both be very embarassed but if I don't say something to her, then who knows how many people are going to see it and then she'll be even more embarassed."

So as the woman approaches he says, "Excuse me ma'am, but your boo...your ti...I mean, your breast is hanging out."

"What did you say?" she says with a look of surprise on her face.

"I said your ti...your boo...I mean your breast is hanging out right there."

So she looks down, sees her breast and says,

"Damn it! I must have left the kid on the bus."

Julie said...

I love this place.

Ecnalubma08 said...

Here's one - it's from memory so here goes!:

These two old ladies were walking down the street in the rain and one of 'em took out a cigarette and told her friend about putting a condom on it to keep it dry in the rain. Her friend thought it was a little weird, but liked the idea and went to the store to buy condoms for her cigarettes...a sales clerk asked her if she needed help...the old lady replied: "Yes! I need anything that'll fit a Camel."

audrey said...

Love your blog!

What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?

--Deer nuts are under a buck.

What's the honeymoon cocktail?

--7up 'n cider