Big Daddy and the Chainsaw

Big Daddy came into the ED late Friday evening. He had definitely earned his nickname as he was 6 ft 5 inches and 300 lbs of hulking muscle. Big Daddy came in with a bloody towel wrapped around his left arm, and a tiny little blonde around his right. He left a pack of buddies in the ED waiting room as he walked up to the triage window.

"Can I help you?" I asked.

"Yeah - I cut my arm with the chainsaw I was using," he replied.

"Oh Big Daddy, you're so brave" cooed the little blonde.

I cast a sideways glance at Lucy who was trying very hard not to spit Diet Coke all over her computer screen.

I escorted Big Daddy and his companion back to ED1. My curiosity got the better of me and I asked "What were you doing with the chainsaw?" I've let my curiosity lead me before and I've found out many things that I would be better off not knowing. Like the man with the Q-tips in his penis because the demons lived there, or the woman who sawed off her hand with a steak knife because God and Satan were arguing over her soul. I also asked a man why he shot up with coffee once and he told me he thought he could get a better high. You'd think I would have learned my lesson about following my curiosity. Nope.

"I was dancing with it," he calmly stated.

I dropped the blood pressure cuff and said "you were what???"

"Oh Big Daddy, you're so very very brave" tiny little blonde piped in.

"I was dancing with the chainsaw. I wanted to show Tina here how graceful I was. When I went to do an arc above my head, my left hand slipped off the handle and the chainsaw slid down the side of my arm."

This was not what I expected. A story laced with alcohol and trying to build a new bookshelf for his pretty wife, or camping in the woods and cutting down firewood, or even showing off his new engine to the neighbor next door - those were the stories I was expecting. I think it showed on my face.

"What? You never heard of chainsaw dancing before?" he asked.

"Nope - never heard a single word about it," I replied

"Well, it's actually not called chainsaw dancing. I was dancing with props trying to tell a story. The chainsaw was just part of the story I was dancing for Tina. It symbolized my emergence into manhood."

I took a second look at the man in front of me - long hair held back with a bandanna, decked out in leathers, arms sleeved in tattoos, looking the very image of a hard core biker. I stared at him for a moment as I tried to put the images together in my head. I thought of his buddies out in the waiting room and I said the only thing I could..............

"Yes Big Daddy, you are very brave."