Thursday, March 05, 2009

Seriously, Dude......Don't

For all of you out there who want to know when you should go to the ER, let me help you out.

You should go to the ER when................

You are dying.

Or close to it.

DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT come to the ER for the following (or the nurse and the physician will not only think you are an idiot, but also bitch about how it is single handedly your fault that the medical system is in the shambles it is in):

  1. Runny nose that just started this morning.
  2. Fever that just started this morning.
  3. Cough that just started this morning.
  4. In fact, any cold symptoms at all - just wait it out. Seriously. We're not going to help you.
  5. The flu - stay away. You're going to contaminate everyone else and there is nothing we can do for you.
  6. A tiny little scratch on your finger
  7. A tiny little cut on your finger (ever heard of applying pressure? And by pressure I mean actually pressing down on the area for more than 10 seconds)
  8. Back pain you've been having for a few weeks. GO TO YOUR CLINIC DOCTOR.
  9. A cough you've had for a few weeks.
  10. Anything that has lasted for a few weeks - GO TO YOUR CLINIC DOCTOR. It is obviously NOT an emergency since you've lived through it for the last 21 days.
  11. Your 2 year old that is pulling on his ear on a Wednesday night. Wait until the morning and go to your clinic doctor. Tylenol - it's a good thing.
  12. Your 2 year old with a rash which he's had for a few days. Or even a rash he's had for a few hours. It......can.....wait.
  13. Ankle pain after falling off a porch and twisting the darn thing. If you can walk in, you don't need to be seen.
I know there are plenty more, that's just a few from my last day at work. I constantly shake my head in wonder at the very idea that people think they need to come to the ER for these things.

And before all you people start jumping on me about the .0000005% rare instances of some wild and crazy disease or near fatal instance of your child/niece/nephew/brother/sister/husband/mother/
father/dog/cat/parokeet in the above scenarios - just know this............ we're not gonna catch those either. And if we do, it's plainly a miracle from God.


Southern Drawl said...

Too funny, totally agree. I work in labor and delivery. Of course, if you are pregnant, no matter what, we have to monitor the baby and get a non-stress test, etc. All this for "I've got this discharge, a cough, cold, backache...." and usually for the last 2-3 days. The office was open but now 3 days later, it's the weekend so it's closed and here you are...not in labor, not with an emergency!

Masquerade said...

I always feel guilty about going to the ER after reading nursing or doctor blogs, LOL.

Jenna said...

Oh but you forgot the MAIN emergency of all...and you know it is truly an emergency......TOOTHACHE....and yes people, idiots really do come to the ER for a freaking toothache. It's called a toothbrush people and we do have these other people that went to school to work on teeth, they are called DENTISTS. But come on in and be seen for your toothache, you'll leave with some Lortab, PenVK and a referral to your dentist of choice....hahahah from one ER nurse to another. Cheers.